Dear Ji-Hoon Letter 5 (-Not a Rain fan anymore)

Hey,

I haven't gotten any news about Rain for a week and this is ok for me. I feel withdrawal symptoms but it is ok...Time will help to distance myself from this practically an obsession that swept over me in an instant and made me ignore the practical and important things in life. Even though I've stopped myself from forming an attachment to Rain, I will still write to you Ji-Hoon. Rain and you are two separate people. While Rain struts his stuff to the masses and is charismatic and suave and debonair, you Ji-Hoon is a person that is shy and some times insecure wants the peace and quiet and just wants to be able to provide for his family and make his mom proud and wants to hang out with his friends and ride his motorbike and or bowl. You like to eat a lot and farts and poops and burps like everyone else.

So this will be my daddy-long-legs type of blog where I won't get an answer from you, Ji-Hoon because the probability of THAT happening are 1 in 9-10 billion. He he.

Anyway the following is a letter of withdrawal from your fan site.

Hi XXXXX!

Thanks for the info...I've decided to cancel my membership to XXXXXXXXXX.xxx. I realized that I can't follow Rain through his career anymore (be a fan). He was the first artist in my entire life that I even became a fan and practically became obsessed with him by spending hours searching the internet for any pics and on top of that I realized how fans practically lived for any piece of news about him. If all Clouds and fans could put that much effort into helping and supporting a young man realize his dream imagine what this army of loving and giving fans could do for the whole world.

The fact that he is allying himself with P.Diddy and Li'l Kim is like he is selling his soul and troubles me deeply. Once he enters the US market he will not be the same innocent nice guy that you guys see. He will have to fit in and the American music artists/industry will suck him into their lifestyle if he wants the connections. "Drink a little bit of this ,smoke some weed, to fit in come on everyone is doing it, girls? I got them by the dozen." <----This is the culture that we want him to be in? Why do you think that when he is on his own with his pals he really doesn't want to be associated with Rain? He just want to be Jeung Ji-Hoon he wants to keep something of himself to himself. But many will not differentiate between the two and eventually he will BE Rain.

XXXXX, research where Hip Hop came from and see the roots of a religious movement within Hip Hop. The people that Rain and JYP are trying to associate themselves with practically are all anti-all-religion and even anti-atheism. But the fact that Hip Hop at it's roots is evil in nature should cause people that care for Rain to make him see and run the other way. I know it sounds crazy but if you don't believe me please check the backgrounds/beliefs of Biggie Small, Tupac, Aliyah, Jill Scott, Alicia Keys, Erika Baduh, DMX, and KRS-ONE who professes to be the prophet of Hip Hop. Don't believe me they have a temple in California. This THOUGHT is immersed within the music and can never be separated and I feel saddened for Rain if he gets in too deep with them. He has so much influence and inspires so many he is practically a god to so many people. I'm not saying that he thinks this way. I firmly believe he is who he says he is when he is Jeung Ji-Hoon. Anyway, I can't with a good conscience continue to include myself in this anymore.

Pray for Jeung Ji-Hoon's and all of his fans spiritual and physical safety. Thank you for making me feel so welcomed in the forum, you guys are all lovely people may God bless you all.

Sincerely,

XXXXXXXXX

Dear Ji-Hoon Letter 4 (-A Real Good Time)

Hello,

I'm going to post something that someone else wrote. This person exactly captures my feelings on what a good time is. So here it goes I hope you enjoy it! :-)

This is from Beliefnet.com

http://www.beliefnet.com/nllp/Inspiration.aspx?WT.mc_id=Inspiration03&date=03-25-2007

A Real Good Time

Time well spent doesn't have to include fun activities or laughter. Deep human connection is what brings me the greatest joy.

By Toni Weingarten

My mother and I were having our monthly lunch date at a little cafe, a ritual we began during the past year. We’d never been particularly close, starting with our dramatic fights during my teenage years three decades ago. So, when she suddenly expressed a desire for more connection with me, I seized the chance, aware of time’s passing and the need for healing.

Our first lunch felt strained, but soon we began to share laughter with our salads. On this day, however, our talk took an unexpected turn.

"He acts like it isn’t happening," my mother said of my father’s deteriorating health. "I can’t talk with him about it."

"Well, I’m not surprised," I responded, sadly. "He’s turned a blind eye to most things in life that he finds distasteful."

My mother fell silent at my comment, tears filling her eyes.

"I just wanted us to have a good time today," she said forlornly at the emotional shift in our conversation.

"Mom," I replied. "We are having a good time. Just because we aren’t laughing doesn’t mean things aren’t good. Sad feelings are a part of life and expressing them means we are having a real time. "

I gave my mom a hug and we continued our lunch quietly. As I drove home later I reflected, just what is a good time?

Television commercials, films, and magazine ads depict good times as people with their heads thrown back in laughter or gathered in large groups around food or liquor. I, however, think some of the best times are a comfortable sweet silence or a heartfelt talk shared with someone dear to me. That’s when I increase intimacy with a friend, or deepen my connection with an acquaintance.

Deep human connection brings me the greatest joy. It doesn’t require food or alcohol. It’s independent of holidays, though can happen then. Expensive theater or concert tickets aren’t necessary for it to occur, and neither is elaborate fashion. In fact, sometimes it happens while dressed in ratty bathrobes with uncombed hair. All that’s needed is for me to be fully present to another human being, and then accept whatever comes from that connection.

As for throwing my head back with laughter, I can laugh with people I hardly know. In fact, I can laugh with total strangers. It’s pleasurable, to be sure, but a steady diet of this kind of fun eventually falls flat, like a soufflé that collapses at the slightest jostle. Truly good times stand on a sturdier base – one built from a little sweat, a few tears, and earned understandings. These are the materials from which solid foundations are forged, and they launch the highest and heartiest laughs, ones that won’t crumble at the first chill.

We humans have a wide range of feelings and I, for one, want my relationships to be full orchestral arrangements that use all these moods. If I know someone over time then we learn to play many tunes together: happy and sad, regretful and grateful, joyful and melancholy, grief-stricken and rapturous.

When my mother and I shared a sad moment at lunch we added some low emotional notes to the higher ones we’d previously sung. It brought us closer and enriched our lives. Though lacking laughter, our lunch was time well spent—good time. Real time.

Dear Ji-Hoon Letter 3 -(Talking with a girl from Korea)

Hey again, :-)

I just got a friend from MySpace and she is from Korea! YAY! ^-^ I'm really happy because we get to talk about anything and sorry but no we haven't spoken about you at all. I don't think I'll bring you up at all because I don't want my motive to make friends from Korea to be because of you. Even before I knew of you I already wanted to volunteer to go to Korea (I was in the military) . It's always sounded exotic to me...Oh well I've stayed with that desire for the last 8 years and here I am..I'll go one day anyway.

Oh yeah...*Sigh* I won't be able to go to any of your concerts. Why? There are several reasons... The main one is because I won't have the cash available when your tickets come up for sale. I could borrow the money but it will defeat the whole purpose of me trying to get out of debt and you seem to be the type of person that would encourage me to not get into more debt. The other reason is because I don't want to be depressed once the concert is over. While many fans would feel revitalized I know I would be one of those feeling VERY depressed because I know the whole thing is over. I heard accounts of other fans being SUPER depressed after one of your concerts. They seem to only be living for news of you and they even make friends with fans from other countries just to be able to learn anything new! For me that is a bit obsessive and I know I was starting to go that route so I stopped collecting information on you and pics and videos and such. I don't understand how people can fall in love with someone they've never ever met. *~*

I know I'm writing these letters to someone that doesn't even know I exist but it seemed the healthiest and most affordable route for me. So here I am! Hehe ;-)

Ok now that I'm finished with my side trip about you, I'm going back to talking about this girl from Korea. The following is what I wrote her:

"Ha ha ha ha! Thanks a bunch for the compliment. I really think we are our own worst critics. He he :-)

Why did you pick **** as a name? I knew someone from my childhood with that name and it brings me fond memories of that time. :-)

How is your family today? I hope all is well... :-)

It is nice to be talking like this. I think most women don't realize that we need the woman's circle. It's part of our nature to gravitate towards women's groups. Most don't realize that since we (women) are so independent now we have forgotten the important part women's group helped in our emotional needs. Haven't you noticed that most women in our generation don't really keep in contact with other women because we are soo busy with our boyfriends or school or just trying to get a career? If you don't water the seed it will never grow to be a strong oak tree that will give you shade and protect you from the worst of the elements when you need it.

It's OK to not do anything once in a while. Some times it is GREAT to just go to the park and lay down and just be bored. Be comfortable with silence. Be comfortable alone. Please do note I didn't say be lonely just be comfortable being with yourself. We give of ourselves every single day to every one. What do we keep for ourselves? Nothing, so we are sooo tired, drained all the time because we are constantly giving to others. I know that is hard because as women we are raised to give all for others. It may seem a little selfish but you'll see how relaxed you will be once you get the hang of it. Hehe :-)

I'm having a wonderful day. Until my boss finds out that I didn't do something. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!

C'ya laterz"


I copied this messsage to give you an idea of what I think.

Well gotta go!

Eternal Dreams

Dear Ji-Hoon (Letter 2) -Out at night-

I came back home from the bookstore by 11:30pm with my sister. I bought these books called "BLINK: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking" by Malcolm Gladwell and "This Present Darkness" by Frank E. Peretti. I recommend reading both they are excellent writers. It was the first time in a couple of months that I've bought a book and I also went to a restaurant to eat. I went to Eggspectation and it was ok I guess. Ate a salad and had some soup which was also spicy ARGH!! I had eaten spicy food earlier that day. So I changed it to Chicken Quesadilla, and the best part was that we were able to sit outside facing the courtyard so we could observe many people window shopping.

We were visiting my sister's friend that works at Eggspectaion so we had dinner so that she could be our server. This way we were spending time with her. I know it sounds really weird... We stayed way too long and finally when we were leaving we helped my sister's friend with putting up some chairs since the restaurant was closing. We said our goodbyes and walked to the metro. It was a nice 15 minutes walk and our stomachs were hurting since we ate so much and we still had 3 take home boxes. :-) We got to the traffic light and we were weary of crossing because this particular light is difficult to know when we are able to cross. So my sister commented aloud "Don't cross! This is a trick light." (Plus we really did not feel like running to cross the streets at all.) Unfortunately, (yes I say unfortunately) there was a well meaning person that heard our conversation. So while she was crossing the street she turned around to us (in the middle of the street) *_* and said "Come on girls cross!" We had no choice, WAAAHHH! >_<, we had to cross the streets and we had to run because the lights were changing and in order not to embarrass the well-meaning lady. *Sigh*

We finally made it to the metro and had to wait for a while and in the mean time my sister had to braid my hair because my ponytail really looked like the tail of a rabbit. She was insulted by my hairstyle HAHAHA! +_+ I let her hear my latest recording (I always carry my recorder with me) hoping that she could harmonize with me and she came up with something that really sound awesome. I know I always think everything is awesome but we'll see how the response is from the industry.

Well gotta go,

Eternal Dreams

Dear Ji-Hoon (Letter 1)

I got to church in time for service today Wooohooo! And even the pastor was very happy for me making it on time. This is the second time in 6-7 months. Unfortunately, our usual lunch after service was canceled since the sanctuary is closed for renovations and the fellowship hall is used as the sanctuary until renovations are complete. So no lunch at church Waaah!! >_< When the service ended it was only 1:30pm too early for me to go home. After wards, I kinda sorta invited myself over for lunch at one of my church members house and I ate Indian food!! (They are an Indian family) It was awesome!! I got to eat with my hands and in my church clothes too! Something our parents tell us to NEVER do and here I was enjoying the whole mess like a little child being told I could paint the walls with my crayons. He he he :-)

They had spicy beef, spicy chicken, 2 kinds of white rice, one with very big grains and the other clumped together rice that some Asian cultures like. Then there was a dish of string beans with shavings of coconut and a curry looking vegetable dish that had potatoes and assorted veggies, and a pancake like wrap with potatoes and green spicy peppers inside. (My poor stomach! I love spicy food but my stomach begs to differ.) This pancake mix was made from scratch. The lady of the house told me that she had taken different kinds of lentil and made them into powder and mixed something else that I don't remember. They also had something that resembled chips that were SOO MUCH BETTER than what I've had. I was told to take the rice and put whatever I wanted on top of it mix if with my hands and then ENJOY! WOOPPEEE! :=)

I love learning about cultures and their beliefs AND their FOOD!! I love food! I love trying food from different places. Later on they all started to drift away after the feast and started to land in different parts of the house taking naps. I ended up trying some tea with no sugar. It was not bitter yet it was strong. I was told that it is good for high blood pressure. :-) The lady of the house gave me a bag of black pepper balls. She said that for the eyesight it's good to boil 2 balls of black pepper, 1 stick of cinnamon and a small piece of ginger root. I must make sure that I peel the ginger root because it could be poisonous. 0_0 YIKES! I realized then that I need to find out about the natural world we live in or it can be dangerous if not properly informed.

Since the lady of the house is a nurse assistant we got to talking about health issues. I learned that the constant dizziness that I've felt needs to be checked by a doctor since it could mean diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol. So come Monday morning I'm calling my Doctor, who I have been avoiding for 2 years, and schedule an appointment. UGH! After a while I was starting to lose consciousness during the conversation, (eating well does make you want to take a nap) so I got a ride home where before I could enjoy the longed for nap ensconced in my bed, my sister came back from class wanting to talk. ARGH!! Oh how cruel is fate! And THEN after we finished talking our friend showed up to our house! IT was a CONSPIRACY I TELL YA!!! It was! (Never mind the fact that WE had schedule the visit from our friend for this time.) So I had to pop out of bed and become presentable to be with our guest while my sister decided that she wanted to change the toilet seat JUST AT THAT MOMENT IN TIME. *SIGH* It defeats the whole purpose of our friend coming to visit if she is going to do handy man stuff. I still found it funny. He didn't stay long since he had to be home soon to help take care of his mom who had emergency heart surgery this past Monday. *~* She has a pacemaker in her and the family is obviously worried. So we could sympathize. He is kind enough to drop us off at the bookstore so I'll write when I get back!

Ciao,

Eternal Dreams

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